Vikings ruleth northern Europe from 700 AD to 1100 AD. Some sayeth they still do.
We were restricteth not to northern Europe and our acts of
piracy extendeth as far as yon America home of Great Ejit Bush, beloved of Saint Tony. We discovereth yon America, which perchance wast our bigest mistake.
Our large families ledeth to population boom that causethed us to
move out from yon Scandinavian area. There art strong ties
betwixt familes and an argument betweeneth members of different families turneth oftentude into bloody feuds.
Seeth thou what brave and bounteous results that stemmeth from yon genes of past Vikings.
To be continueth ...
18 comments:
Hey Viking, my old dad used to reckon I was a throwback to a Viking raid as I was the only one in my family who had blue eyes and blonde hair.
Whad'ya think Viking Man? Can I be an honourary Viking?
Seems a lot of effort just to get a few blouses.
Had they thought of M & S?
But seriously ...
Thou art honored in the realms of Cafe Demented, er, Hopcott with a plaque in honour of thy services rendered ...
Well OK not a plaque but a 'special mention'.
Er, is a plaque what you get on your teeth?
Ooops! What? You haven't got any?
Duhhh! Put my foot in it again ...
Those rufty tufty Viking chaps didn't even take there dirty boots off when they landed on England's fair shores, mud all over the place, absolute brutes!
And you lot nicked all our woad. As a consequence we now have to patronise Superdrug for our warpaint.
I thought the pictured had genes from the Saxons not the Vikings...
I wouldn't shout too loudly about being the race to discover certain lands where certain dubyas live...
Vikings are an endangered species these days you know!
Thanks for my Egg, Mighty Warrior.
Where is my raping pillaging, whoops I mean triumphant saviour?
Hurry up and continueth it then!
It shouldn't be too hard to find Warrior, it is the Land of the Long White Cloud - Aotearoa
Help Viking Warrior, Cafe Hopcott is besieged by three headed dachshunds and four foot high slugs.
Your services are needed ...
Glggggslrrrrppppppp
(Ed: too late ...)
Where the bloody hell are you? Pah! Barely a Viking with this record! At least after I've gone quiet I have the decency to come back!
Yon Viking knows not how to continueth, all that pillaging hath woreth him out, yea verily.
All that partying you mean! I'm glad you drank all the rum at Martin's, Shammickite, I was afraid VW was going to get me drunk so he could pillage before we were married.
I feel violated.
Ere! I was in Oslo last week looking at some of your ship. Masterful technology for the time!
Oddly though, I can't quite reconcile the modern day scandinavians with the warriors of old.
That said, I saw them blokes from Telemark who did for the hevy water plant. Now there were some tough blokes. Even in their dotage they look clear eyed and remarkable.
So, maybe some viking spirit does live on after all.
I am all alone. Vikingless.
/sniff
(tuthouse - with a v-word like that Viky you're practically egyptian. Is that where you went?)
Don't miss the Cafe Hopcott Very Important Christmas Public service Announcement :-)
VIKING WARRIOR!
I'm ending our bargain. You have not sailed to New Zealand, you have not pillaged my village and you most certainly have not plundered any of my booty. That's it. It's over between us.
... did your longboat sink? I'm sorry. (and lonely)
you're so full of promises Viking Warrior - should I hold my breath for you?
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